Meet Mr. T. (The Tongue)

Another day, another bad dating story.  I had lunch with my friend M. the other day and she told me about her date with Mr. T. (The Tongue).  M. is an attractive lady in her forties who after two failed marriages had put dating on hold for a bit (to be exact, for sixteen years  🙂 ).  Not that she had sworn off men altogether but, shall we say, she had become a bit careful in her selection.  One of the cases of “been there, done that, didn’t like it.”

So, one day one of her friends told her that she found the “perfect” date for her, somebody who was working with her husband, single and really nice.  You probably already have a feeling of this not ending well.  Well, that’s putting it mildly.  Here she got ready for her first date after sixteen years and Mr. T. picked her up at her house (he insisted on that) without having a clue where to go or what to do.  They finally settled on a little sports bar where a painful conversation took place with him seeming to question everything about her, like her job (cosmetologist) with “Why would somebody get facials?” to her appearance “Why would you wear heels?”  Finally, after patiently making it through the conversation and my friend at that point probably ready to strangle her other “He’s really nice” friend, Mr. T. took her home and insisted on coming in with her.

Of course, that would have been a good moment to come up with something like “My elderly mother lives with me and she’s already sleeping, that’s why you can’t come in.”   But I guess, she was so overwhelmed that she couldn’t think straight and she ended up letting him in.  Big mistake!  While fixing a couple of drinks, Mr. T. looked disgusted at her cats and asked her “Why do you have cats?” (Tip:  If you like the woman and would like to see her again, don’t criticize the pets  🙂 ).  Anyway, at that point my friend about had it with Mr. T.  He had criticized everything about her.  But she didn’t want to be impolite, so she sat down next to him on the couch, sipping her drink, when he all of a sudden made a move towards her and kissed her.  She might have expected a little kiss, but boy, was she in for a surprise.  Mr. T. (The Tongue) pushed his tongue so far into her mouth, almost down her throat repeatedly that the next day when she told me about it, her mouth was still sore.  Of course, I pointed out that she was lucky that that was the only thing he pushed into her mouth, otherwise she might have had some major bruises  :-).  Well, to make a long story short, you guessed it, there was no second date for Mr. T.

I think she filed this one under “Dates from Hell.”  It may not be another sixteen years, but I have a feeling that it may be a little while before she listens to another friend telling her “He’s really nice, you ought to go out on a date.”   🙂

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