Archive for Dating

So, What’s The Matter With The Guys On Match.com?

  

Well, I had a very interesting conversation with my friend P., a fellow massage therapist the other day, and she told me about her first adventure with ‘Match.com.’  While listening to her, I thought I had heard her story before (seems like many times before).  I remember how P. was agonizing for quite some time whether she should even get involved in the dating scene again.  Since her husband passed away several years ago, she really hadn’t been seeing anybody, and she had a healthy distrust of dating sites in general.

But I guess curiosity got the best of her and she put her profile online and, pretty soon, she met this guy and had nice email contact with him over several weeks, and they decided to meet when he was coming to town about two weeks ago.  Besides the obligatory discrepancies between photo and reality   :-), the nice email conversation turned into a somewhat awkward real life conversation pretty soon.  P. told me ‘He kept on asking me whether I had a secret I wanted to tell him.  And to tell you the truth, I didn’t know what to make of it because he kept repeating it from time to time.’  ‘Well, I guess he wasn’t satisfied with your answer,’ I responded, instantly thinking of course, that he was waiting for an answer reflecting the implied sexual reference in his question.  But my friend P., God love her, didn’t even think about such a thing.

Well, after not getting anywhere with his questioning, he decided to fall to sleep on the couch in his hotel room while she was sitting right there next to him.  ‘Well, that might have been a sign for you, that he had resigned himself to the fact that this was no ‘easy-sex-date,’ and decided to catch up on his sleep,’ I said to her.   🙂

So, when he finally woke up, she decided to call it a night and they agreed to meet for breakfast the next morning.  And with a little kiss on the cheek, she was on her way back home.  Next morning, right at nine, her phone rang and Mr. Unhappy said ‘Well, I guess we both realize that there wasn’t much of a connection and I had planned to at least get some action coming down here.  But it was pretty clear from the beginning that that wasn’t going to happen, so I’m actually already on the road back home.  Take care!’  And with that he hung up and left my friend completely speechless.

Here’s a suggestion:  If you’re on Match.com (or any other dating site) and all you’re looking for is easy sex, why not put it right in your profile ‘Male, 40, just looking for sex.  Only willing females please respond.’  That will take care of the disappointment (on both sides) and circumvent the unconscionable idea of dating when meeting on a dating site.   🙂

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Meet Mr. T. (The Tongue)

Another day, another bad dating story.  I had lunch with my friend M. the other day and she told me about her date with Mr. T. (The Tongue).  M. is an attractive lady in her forties who after two failed marriages had put dating on hold for a bit (to be exact, for sixteen years  🙂 ).  Not that she had sworn off men altogether but, shall we say, she had become a bit careful in her selection.  One of the cases of “been there, done that, didn’t like it.”

So, one day one of her friends told her that she found the “perfect” date for her, somebody who was working with her husband, single and really nice.  You probably already have a feeling of this not ending well.  Well, that’s putting it mildly.  Here she got ready for her first date after sixteen years and Mr. T. picked her up at her house (he insisted on that) without having a clue where to go or what to do.  They finally settled on a little sports bar where a painful conversation took place with him seeming to question everything about her, like her job (cosmetologist) with “Why would somebody get facials?” to her appearance “Why would you wear heels?”  Finally, after patiently making it through the conversation and my friend at that point probably ready to strangle her other “He’s really nice” friend, Mr. T. took her home and insisted on coming in with her.

Of course, that would have been a good moment to come up with something like “My elderly mother lives with me and she’s already sleeping, that’s why you can’t come in.”   But I guess, she was so overwhelmed that she couldn’t think straight and she ended up letting him in.  Big mistake!  While fixing a couple of drinks, Mr. T. looked disgusted at her cats and asked her “Why do you have cats?” (Tip:  If you like the woman and would like to see her again, don’t criticize the pets  🙂 ).  Anyway, at that point my friend about had it with Mr. T.  He had criticized everything about her.  But she didn’t want to be impolite, so she sat down next to him on the couch, sipping her drink, when he all of a sudden made a move towards her and kissed her.  She might have expected a little kiss, but boy, was she in for a surprise.  Mr. T. (The Tongue) pushed his tongue so far into her mouth, almost down her throat repeatedly that the next day when she told me about it, her mouth was still sore.  Of course, I pointed out that she was lucky that that was the only thing he pushed into her mouth, otherwise she might have had some major bruises  :-).  Well, to make a long story short, you guessed it, there was no second date for Mr. T.

I think she filed this one under “Dates from Hell.”  It may not be another sixteen years, but I have a feeling that it may be a little while before she listens to another friend telling her “He’s really nice, you ought to go out on a date.”   🙂

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Do You Want To Date My Corvette?

Is it just me or does every Corvette driver (and yes, some Mercedes and others, too) think they are entitled to your undivided attention and that every woman just has to be in absolute awe when sitting right next to them at a stop light?  Case in point yesterday again:  Yellow Corvette stops next to me and out of the corner of my eyes behind my sunglasses I can see guy in yellow Corvette making all kinds of attempts for attention from Nissan driving disinterested woman (me) to the point of blowing his horn several times when getting frustrated by lack of acknowledgement.  How dare she doesn’t look at me when I’m sitting here in this beautiful Corvette?

Well, I have news for you:  A lot of us stopped a long time ago doing anything but looking straight forward when waiting at a light.  There are just too many yellow Corvettes with attitudes out there.  🙂

No, I don’t want to date your Corvette!

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