Archive for Humor

Bye Bye Bush!

THE    END    OF    INSANITY!

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The end of the world as we know it:  No more  ‘Bushisms’  🙂

For everybody who is already suffering from  ‘Bush Withdrawal’  :-), here’s a montage of David Letterman’s

GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES

Click on link below and  ENJOY!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dxkpm7bH7j4&eurl=http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/01/16/letterman-presents-final_n_158705.html&feature=player_embedded

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Farewell To Bush

 

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Here’s a  good-bye gift he won’t forget!!!   At least somebody is giving him a ‘Heads Up!’   🙂 

What in the world are we going to do without Bush? — Oh, I forgot.  We’ll be busy cleaning up his mess…..

In the meantime, click on the following audio link for a ‘Farewell To Bush,’  ‘Bushisms’ that made us laugh and cry…..a lot!!!  Courtesy of the ‘Bill Press Show’   www.billpress.com.  Enjoy!!!   🙂 

http://www.billpressmedia.com/nsmpc/FAREWELL-Bushisms.mp3

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Just because …..

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‘Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, ‘You’re only interested in one thing,’ and you can’t remember what it is.’ — Milton Berle     🙂

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Just because …..

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‘God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time!’ — Robin Williams     🙂

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Sorry, I Don’t Do Republicans!

So, how about this little post-election humorous anecdote?  As I was sitting at a stop light, I noticed that the guy in the car in front of me was trying to flirt, looking back and forth between his rear view and side mirrors.  After not getting the response he was looking for, don’t you know, he got out of his car, came over to me and motioned for me to open my window which I did.  As the light was about to change, he just handed me his card and told me ‘Call me, I would love to take you out to dinner!’  You can imagine that I was a little surprised by that and without thinking too much, I took his card.  He was about to return back to his car, when I noticed this little sticker on his bumper, staring right at me:

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And, of course, there was only one possible answer for me:

‘SORRY, I DON’T DO REPUBLICANS!’     🙂

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No Words Necessary :-)

As seen on   http://current.com     🙂

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Massage With A ‘Happy Ending’

While I was reading about somebody’s experience with ‘massage with a happy ending’ the other day, I instantly thought about one of my clients a few years back.  As you probably can imagine, as professional massage therapists, we run into these situations sometimes.  When I do, I usually deal with it with humor and refer them to the ‘Yellow Pages.’   🙂

Since I make house visits to pretty much regular clients, I hardly run into these requests anymore, but naturally, I used to from time to time in my early years, and I remember specifically one client, B., who came to town almost every week for about six months or so, while he was expanding his car business here.  The concierge called me initially after he had asked her for a massage therapist who would come to the hotel.  So this is how we initially met.  B. was a nice older guy, always a gentleman, and we ended up having really nice conversations from time to time.  He seemed to always want to know what I was thinking about certain issues and over time, we established quite a nice massage therapist/client relationship.  But we had to get past one issue first.

When I went for the first appointment, he was quite the gentleman as I said, never did or said anything wrong.  While putting my table together, I noticed that he had two hundred dollar bills laying on the table, but I didn’t pay much attention to it as he had paid me already.  So, when I came back next time, it had slipped my mind until I noticed two hundred dollar bills laying there again.  Here also, B. never said or did anything to indicate that he wanted a massage with a ‘happy ending.’  But it was clear to me that that’s what the generous ‘tip’ was intended for.  Even though he told me every time how good he felt and how much he enjoyed the massage, maybe he wanted to enjoy it a little more …..   :-).

Now, while I was driving to my next appointment, I was thinking about how to best handle the situation.  As he was a very nice person, I wanted to keep him as a client as long as he came to town, so I didn’t want to embarrass him.  On the other hand, I wanted to make absolutely sure that he understood that I was a professional massage therapist and therefore sexual favors were not included (he should have known that by then, but then again, he was a man, so he tried …..  🙂 ).

Anyway, as I saw the money on the table again next time I saw him, I told him about one of my clients who had made advances on several occasions and was looking for more than a massage, and continued to do so, even after I had made clear to him that that was a non-starter.  ‘So I had to let him go as a client, because he just didn’t want to take ‘no’ for an answer and the situation had become too uncomfortable,’ I said to B., looking straight into his eyes.  And I know he got the message without me saying a word directly to him or embarrassing him.  How do I know?

Well, no two hundred dollar bills on the table when I saw him the next time.   🙂

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