Archive for Men

Sarah Palin: An Embarrassment To Women

“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.” — Abraham Lincoln

 

 

Sarah Palin has turned out to be a complete embarrassment to women.  And John McCain has disqualified himself from holding the highest office in the land the moment he picked this complete farce of a VP nominee.  With this reckless act he has done more damage to the women’s cause than anybody else in recent history.  We all should feel especially sorry for Republican women.

JOHN, COULDN’T YOU HAVE FOUND A WOMAN JUST A LITTLE LESS EMBARRASSING AND JUST A LITTLE SMARTER?

Sarah, sweetheart, winking at the audience like a cocktail waitress does not make you a serious contender for the vice presidency.  I cannot even imagine a Hillary Clinton, Kay Bailey Hutchison or Olympia Snowe trying to wink themselves to being taken seriously.  We women have come too far and had to fight too hard to have you turn us back in an instant.  What in the world are you thinking?  And you call yourself a feminist?  I think not!  Your extreme and radical views on issue after issue stand opposite to everything most of us believe in.  We want to move forward, not backward!  It’s surprising that you don’t seem to be very interested in the world around you as your answers in your now infamous interviews indicate.  Besides memorized keyword answers, there was nothing usable coming from your mouth when asked on a subject you evidently did not prepare for, or when faced with a follow-up question.  And that includes such softball questions like ‘Which Supreme Court case do you disagree with?’ and ‘Which publications do you read?’  Come on, Sarah, not even the ‘Star’ at the checkout counter?  Sometimes your answers are borderline ridiculous.

IT’S JUST NOT THAT ATTRACTIVE LOOKING LIKE AN UNSOPHISTICATED NUTJOB!

As someone with a major in journalism and having been a sportscaster, it is interesting that you seem to have problems putting words in proper order, and between your general gibberish and the ‘you betcha,’ ‘doggone it’ and misplaced ‘also,’ I’m not sure whether this is all just an act to appeal to your favorite guy ‘Joe Six-Pack,’ or whether it is indeed another sign that there’s not much up there between your ears?  But even for people like myself, whose native language is something other than English, it’s actually quite embarrassing to see somebody on the national political stage who looks so doggone uneducated.  Also, it is ‘nuclear,’ not ‘nucular.’  We’ve had to deal with another idiot for eight years who also had problems with pronunciation and embarrassed himself and by extension all of us on a daily basis.  We just don’t want that anymore.  Believe it or not, we want a president and vice president who are just a little smarter than we are.  And you simply don’t fit the bill.  While appealing to a certain fragment of society, you turn off most everybody else, especially women, who, so we were told, you were supposed to attract to your ticket.

SARAH, WE’RE JUST NOT THAT MUCH INTO YOU!

Sweetheart, when you accuse Barack Obama of hanging out with terrorists and having radical associates without any truth to either of these claims, why don’t you include your own and John McCain’s questionable and much more important associations?  If you don’t know what I’m talking about, let me help you out with a few suggestions.  When bringing up Rev. Wright, why don’t you mention your own pastor (Muthee) who is a witch doctor and has prayed over you to, among other things, protect you from witchcraft.  When mentioning Bill Ayers, why don’t you mention John McCain’s friendship with G. Gordon Liddy who is a convicted felon and was one of the main operatives during Watergate and made many quite outrageous statements over the years (‘If the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco & Firearms insists upon a firefight, give them a firefight.  Just remember, they’re wearing flak jackets and you’re better off shooting for the head.’ – G. Gordon Liddy advising Branch Davidians how to defend themselves from ATF agents during a radio show.)  Domestic terrorist sympathizer?  Or how about John McCain sitting on the board of the ‘US Council for World Freedom’ for several years?  An organization which was linked to former Nazi collaborators and ultra-right-wing death squads in Central America, and a meeting place of unsavory characters, extremists, racists and anti-Semites?  Was John hanging out with radicals?

GUILT BY ASSOCIATION IS A TWO-WAY STREET! 

When calling Barack Obama unpatriotic, why don’t you explain your husband’s and your own relationship with the Alaskan Independence Party?  Your husband was a member for seven years and you sent a videotaped message to one of their meetings ‘Keep up the good work!’ as late as six months ago.  The ‘good work’ they are involved in and you apparently approve of is trying to secede from the United States.  Sarah, are you unpatriotic?  What about John McCain’s involvement in the ‘Keating Five’?  I’m sure many older people will remember that scandal very well because they lost a lot of money.

ARE YOU PATRIOTIC, SARAH?

And while you’re at it, please let us know why you think the Iraq war is a task from God?  How do you know?  Has he told you that?  We know that George Bush has a direct line to God, because we read about it in Bob Woodward’s book ‘God told me to invade Iraq’ – George Bush.  So, were you on a conference call with George and God?  And if so, what else did he tell you?  Just checking.

Oh, I forgot:  MAVERICK.

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Massage With A ‘Happy Ending’

While I was reading about somebody’s experience with ‘massage with a happy ending’ the other day, I instantly thought about one of my clients a few years back.  As you probably can imagine, as professional massage therapists, we run into these situations sometimes.  When I do, I usually deal with it with humor and refer them to the ‘Yellow Pages.’   🙂

Since I make house visits to pretty much regular clients, I hardly run into these requests anymore, but naturally, I used to from time to time in my early years, and I remember specifically one client, B., who came to town almost every week for about six months or so, while he was expanding his car business here.  The concierge called me initially after he had asked her for a massage therapist who would come to the hotel.  So this is how we initially met.  B. was a nice older guy, always a gentleman, and we ended up having really nice conversations from time to time.  He seemed to always want to know what I was thinking about certain issues and over time, we established quite a nice massage therapist/client relationship.  But we had to get past one issue first.

When I went for the first appointment, he was quite the gentleman as I said, never did or said anything wrong.  While putting my table together, I noticed that he had two hundred dollar bills laying on the table, but I didn’t pay much attention to it as he had paid me already.  So, when I came back next time, it had slipped my mind until I noticed two hundred dollar bills laying there again.  Here also, B. never said or did anything to indicate that he wanted a massage with a ‘happy ending.’  But it was clear to me that that’s what the generous ‘tip’ was intended for.  Even though he told me every time how good he felt and how much he enjoyed the massage, maybe he wanted to enjoy it a little more …..   :-).

Now, while I was driving to my next appointment, I was thinking about how to best handle the situation.  As he was a very nice person, I wanted to keep him as a client as long as he came to town, so I didn’t want to embarrass him.  On the other hand, I wanted to make absolutely sure that he understood that I was a professional massage therapist and therefore sexual favors were not included (he should have known that by then, but then again, he was a man, so he tried …..  🙂 ).

Anyway, as I saw the money on the table again next time I saw him, I told him about one of my clients who had made advances on several occasions and was looking for more than a massage, and continued to do so, even after I had made clear to him that that was a non-starter.  ‘So I had to let him go as a client, because he just didn’t want to take ‘no’ for an answer and the situation had become too uncomfortable,’ I said to B., looking straight into his eyes.  And I know he got the message without me saying a word directly to him or embarrassing him.  How do I know?

Well, no two hundred dollar bills on the table when I saw him the next time.   🙂

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Fit, Sexy and Happy At Any Age!

Has this ever happened to you?  Somebody enters the room and you think to yourself ‘Wow!  What a presence that person has!’  And you notice how other people stop what they’re doing to look at the person as well.  If you would ask them, most people probably couldn’t tell you why exactly he or she draws all this attention.  Often they don’t even fit the stereotypical ‘beauty standard,’ and yet, there is something about them that makes them sexy and attractive to other people.  It almost feels like there is an aura around them.  What exactly is going on here?

Well, let me tell you a little secret:  It’s a mindset.  People who feel comfortable with themselves are generally happy and radiate positive energy wherever they go.  That in turn is being picked up by others and makes that person attractive, even sexy to them.  From a confident walk, to sparkling eyes, to a radiant smile, you can tell they feel good about themselves and it shows.

George Clooney and Queen Latifah are perfect examples for what I just described.  When they show up, people take notice.  You just know they are self-confident and like themselves, have a positive attitude, laugh often and enjoy life, and that makes them very attractive and sexy.

Now, you also can be fit, sexy and happy, no matter what age you are.  As I mentioned, it’s a mindset and a matter of attitude, and you can achieve it by developing a healthy lifestyle, getting in shape with a fit body, de-stressing and simplifying your life, and creating a positive mindset.  And when you do, you will find the  FIT, SEXY AND HAPPY  person that is already inside you just waiting to be awakened.  Visit my website   www.FitwithAndrea.com   and find out how.   🙂

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Things Hanging From A Rear View Mirror


Okay, will somebody please explain this picture to me:  While waiting at a stop light right behind a pickup truck, I noticed something hanging from the guy’s rear view mirror.  At first glance it looked like some type of Christmas decoration.  But the second look revealed a pair of brass balls, cojones, or whatever name you like, dangling right next to the guy’s head.  In this part of the country you are confronted with all kinds of things but this was a first for me.   🙂

Now, while chuckling at the sight of these enormous testicles, I was wondering about the message he wanted to send:

a)  I wish I had a pair this big!
b)  My wife cut them off and all I can do is drive around next to them and insist that they are really mine!
c)  Redneck Christmas decoration
d)  Compensation for a small penis
e)  I don’t need a gun rack with my pickup truck, thank you very much, I have a pair of steel balls!
f)  Hey girls, see what you’re missing! ….. Same thing I’m missing!
g)  I entered a contest to be a Chippendale dancer and all I got was a pair of these!
h)  You may not like the look of them, but they have a wonderful scent!

Any suggestions?   🙂

I have yet to wait for the day when a woman decides to display a pair of fake boobs dangling from her rear view mirror.

By the way:  For the brass ball lovers among you and for everybody else who would like to view a gallery of shiny testicles in various colors and sizes in pure amazement, I found this website   www.bullsballs.com .

ENJOY!!!

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So, What’s The Matter With The Guys On Match.com?

  

Well, I had a very interesting conversation with my friend P., a fellow massage therapist the other day, and she told me about her first adventure with ‘Match.com.’  While listening to her, I thought I had heard her story before (seems like many times before).  I remember how P. was agonizing for quite some time whether she should even get involved in the dating scene again.  Since her husband passed away several years ago, she really hadn’t been seeing anybody, and she had a healthy distrust of dating sites in general.

But I guess curiosity got the best of her and she put her profile online and, pretty soon, she met this guy and had nice email contact with him over several weeks, and they decided to meet when he was coming to town about two weeks ago.  Besides the obligatory discrepancies between photo and reality   :-), the nice email conversation turned into a somewhat awkward real life conversation pretty soon.  P. told me ‘He kept on asking me whether I had a secret I wanted to tell him.  And to tell you the truth, I didn’t know what to make of it because he kept repeating it from time to time.’  ‘Well, I guess he wasn’t satisfied with your answer,’ I responded, instantly thinking of course, that he was waiting for an answer reflecting the implied sexual reference in his question.  But my friend P., God love her, didn’t even think about such a thing.

Well, after not getting anywhere with his questioning, he decided to fall to sleep on the couch in his hotel room while she was sitting right there next to him.  ‘Well, that might have been a sign for you, that he had resigned himself to the fact that this was no ‘easy-sex-date,’ and decided to catch up on his sleep,’ I said to her.   🙂

So, when he finally woke up, she decided to call it a night and they agreed to meet for breakfast the next morning.  And with a little kiss on the cheek, she was on her way back home.  Next morning, right at nine, her phone rang and Mr. Unhappy said ‘Well, I guess we both realize that there wasn’t much of a connection and I had planned to at least get some action coming down here.  But it was pretty clear from the beginning that that wasn’t going to happen, so I’m actually already on the road back home.  Take care!’  And with that he hung up and left my friend completely speechless.

Here’s a suggestion:  If you’re on Match.com (or any other dating site) and all you’re looking for is easy sex, why not put it right in your profile ‘Male, 40, just looking for sex.  Only willing females please respond.’  That will take care of the disappointment (on both sides) and circumvent the unconscionable idea of dating when meeting on a dating site.   🙂

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Tough Guys Don’t See The Doctor

You’ve probably heard the notion that some men literally have to be almost dead before they see the doctor.  There is certainly some truth to men being reluctant to go to the doctor’s office when a problem first arises.  You can speculate about the reasons; some people think it is related to society in general imposing expectations of being tough and ignoring pain, first on boys and then later on men.  It could also be related to men in general maybe being more hesitant speaking freely, even with a physician, about a condition they deem to be embarrassing, not realizing it could be a symptom of a serious health problem.  Even when seeking advice, some men may leave out those important but embarrassing details and therefore delaying diagnosis and treatment.  One perfect example could be a man experiencing the urgency of urination to the point of wetting his pants from time to time.  Being embarrassed about that, he may not mention it to the doctor, possibly delaying a diagnosis that could involve bladder cancer, especially if the person had been a smoker.

MORE EMPHASIS ON PREVENTION

See your doctor ….. Not only for treatment when you are sick, but get regular check-ups for prevention, including blood pressure, cholesterol, etc.  The goal is to find out whether something is out of balance before it becomes a serious health problem.  Unfortunately, our entire health care system up to this point is based on treating health problems, rather than trying to prevent them in the first place.  But you can certainly make the individual decision for yourself to put more emphasis on prevention and living a healthy lifestyle.

YOU WANT TO GET A MAN’S ATTENTION?  LET’S TALK ABOUT SEX!

Is it just me or have you also noticed lately that commercials for medication treating Erectile Dysfunction start to involve the notion that serious conditions like high blood pressure, diabetes and heart disease in general could also lead to Erectile Dysfunction?  And you can just picture men all across America staring at the TV in full attention.  Naturally, these are self-serving commercials by the drug companies.  However, studies have shown and experts agree that there can be a connection between Erectile Dysfunction and serious health problems.  A high percentage of men who suffer from diabetes already know that Erectile Dysfunction could be related to that condition.  But it could also be a good indication of heart disease because just like arteries in the penis fail to expand to stimulus, so do certain arteries around the heart.  Because arteries in the penis are smaller, that condition may show up earlier and may make the prevention or treatment of heart disease much more successful for that person.

Bottom line:  If the newly found openness talking about the once taboo subject of impotence leads more men to the doctor’s office and in the process serious health concerns can be discovered and treated, more power to them!

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This Is Roberto, My FB!

So, I’m at one of my clients’ house the other day, putting my massage table together.  My client B. is a business woman in her sixties and has been getting massages from me for a few years now.  While I was busy packing my things, the door bell rang and she asked me to get it.  I opened the door and looked at a young stud in tight shirt and jeans, couldn’t have been older than 25.  He greeted me with a broad smile “Hi!” and walked in as though he had been to B.’s place before.  Trying to figure out who in the world this could be, I watched him walking over to her and giving her a kiss on her cheek.  B. must have noticed the puzzled and clueless expression on my face when telling me “Oh, Andrea, this is Roberto, my FB!”  And I saw Roberto looking at me with another big smile on his face.  All I could say was “Oh, okay.  Nice to meet you.”  And with that I left those two to themselves.  I guess he was there to massage something else …..   :-).  While driving to my next appointment, I was thinking to myself that you just never know.  I had no idea that B. even knew the term FB (F**k Buddy), let alone would have one.   🙂

Well, as you can imagine, she was eager to give me an explanation when I saw her for her next appointment.  “Well, I decided a long time ago that I just don’t want to be bothered with the soap opera a relationship brings with it.  I really have neither time nor patience for that anymore.  So, I decided just to have a FB from time to time.  I appreciate him and he appreciates my generosity, and to tell you the truth, I’m loving it!  Works well for everybody involved.  Heck, men have been doing it forever!”  I remember smiling at her “confession” and telling her “Good for you!  You go girl!”  I filed this under “Things that make you go ‘Huh?’ ”   🙂

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