Posts Tagged Dating Humor

A Weird And Wet Date :-)

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My friend M. called last night.  Like me, she belongs to the ever growing club of women who are just slightly over 29…  :-), single and happy.  Unlike me, who has given up on dating altogether, until that special person comes around the corner (and I know it when I see him…  🙂  ), she’s still trying… and sharing her weird dating experiences with me…

For the second time now, she fell into the trap of a well meaning friend telling her, “I know this really nice guy, he would be perfect for you.  You ought to go out on a date… ”  After her last experience with that particular  ‘really nice guy,’  she told me, it would definitely be quite some time until she listened to any friends again. Well, here we are, just a few weeks later…

Mr. Nice Guy turned out to be a bit of a crazy…  In their very first phone conversation, he joked with her,  “The last time I was in a woman, was two years ago, when visiting the  ‘Statue of Liberty,’ “… haha…  Okay, I have a good sense of humor, and if you know somebody a little better, and are convinced that the person would think that to be funny as well, okay…  But in the first few minutes of a phone conversation with a woman you have never even met?…  Not particularly appropriate…  🙂

When she told me about it, I felt her hesitating already, even going on the date. And as a friend, I just told her to be careful and to watch out for any more red flags.  So, I guess, curiosity got the best of her, and she went on the date, which ended up ordering in Thai food while sipping on a glass of wine in his condo.  It didn’t take but a few minutes, she may have still been enjoying the spicy food, when Mr. Statue of Liberty decided to spice things up himself, and basically threw himself at her, trying to kiss her.  That attempt ended up licking her entire face, ears and neck.  I could hear in her voice that she didn’t particularly care for all that wet attention…  :-).  Naturally, I asked her, if she had told him, that she had already taken a shower that day, so no need for him to lick her clean…  🙂

Anyway, after another few minutes of him telling her that he thought they’d be married within a year, she decided, it was time to leave… and you guessed it… take a shower…  🙂

Now my question is…  I can see that licking can be a very erotic part of making love, something I certainly enjoy… :-), but on the first date… after a few minutes… all over your face… ???  Do men really believe that to be a turn on?  I guess, some woman at some point may have told him that she liked it, and now he thinks every woman likes it, and may have decided to introduce himself that way… I don’t know…  🙂

Oh, you guessed it…  No second date for Mr. Nice Guy…  I guess, he’ll have to visit the  ‘Statue of Liberty’  again…  🙂

I still know why I’m not dating…  🙂

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Man With A Mission :-)

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So I went out with my friend M. for a couple, make that three drinks…, last night, trying to solve the world’s problems again in about two hours…  🙂

As I don’t date (by choice  🙂  ), I live vicariously through her dating experiences…and sometimes, that’s just not a pretty picture.  Thinking about it, that’s probably one of the reasons I leave the soap opera of dating to others…  Well, we’ve had the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly when it comes to the men she’s been out with.  But I don’t think I laughed as hard before as I did last night, when she shared her latest dating experience with me.  K., also known as  ‘Man with a mission’  🙂 asked her out to dinner, and, according to her, it was very nice, wonderful conversation, chemistry, quite the gentleman.  So she happily agreed to a second date …

Well, that one went even better.  They went to one of the local wineries for a wine tasting and had a very enjoyable evening.  For the third date he wanted to come to her house (for the first time) to pick her up and as she felt quite comfortable with K., she agreed.  Right at eight, the doorbell rang and she opened the door to let him in.  But I don’t think she will forget the picture she was staring at for quite some time… There he was, smiling  at her with his pillow under his arm!  Now mind you, up to this point they had barely kissed, definitely no sex involved… How does it go?  A picture speaks a thousand words… Well, this picture certainly spoke volumes, and he didn’t have to say anything…

Now, there’s something to be said to bring your own pillow if the one at your lover’s house hurts your neck, but I’d say, you should at least wait until after you had sex and slept on that pillow a few times  :-).  She thought the same…  and I’m here to report… you guessed it… no fourth date.  She thought if he would do something weird like that, there’s a good chance that other things would follow…

I know why I’m not dating…  🙂

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