Posts Tagged Men

‘Secrets of a Massage Therapist’ by Andy Vogt Book Trailer

Check out the book trailer for my new book… :-).
Lean back, relax…and enjoy!!

‘Secrets of a Massage Therapist’ by Andy Vogt is
available in paperback on Amazon.com and
anywhere books are sold, and in e-book format
on Amazon Kindle and Barnes&Noble Nook.
Also visit my website:  www.andyvogtbooks.com 

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A Weird And Wet Date :-)

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My friend M. called last night.  Like me, she belongs to the ever growing club of women who are just slightly over 29…  :-), single and happy.  Unlike me, who has given up on dating altogether, until that special person comes around the corner (and I know it when I see him…  🙂  ), she’s still trying… and sharing her weird dating experiences with me…

For the second time now, she fell into the trap of a well meaning friend telling her, “I know this really nice guy, he would be perfect for you.  You ought to go out on a date… ”  After her last experience with that particular  ‘really nice guy,’  she told me, it would definitely be quite some time until she listened to any friends again. Well, here we are, just a few weeks later…

Mr. Nice Guy turned out to be a bit of a crazy…  In their very first phone conversation, he joked with her,  “The last time I was in a woman, was two years ago, when visiting the  ‘Statue of Liberty,’ “… haha…  Okay, I have a good sense of humor, and if you know somebody a little better, and are convinced that the person would think that to be funny as well, okay…  But in the first few minutes of a phone conversation with a woman you have never even met?…  Not particularly appropriate…  🙂

When she told me about it, I felt her hesitating already, even going on the date. And as a friend, I just told her to be careful and to watch out for any more red flags.  So, I guess, curiosity got the best of her, and she went on the date, which ended up ordering in Thai food while sipping on a glass of wine in his condo.  It didn’t take but a few minutes, she may have still been enjoying the spicy food, when Mr. Statue of Liberty decided to spice things up himself, and basically threw himself at her, trying to kiss her.  That attempt ended up licking her entire face, ears and neck.  I could hear in her voice that she didn’t particularly care for all that wet attention…  :-).  Naturally, I asked her, if she had told him, that she had already taken a shower that day, so no need for him to lick her clean…  🙂

Anyway, after another few minutes of him telling her that he thought they’d be married within a year, she decided, it was time to leave… and you guessed it… take a shower…  🙂

Now my question is…  I can see that licking can be a very erotic part of making love, something I certainly enjoy… :-), but on the first date… after a few minutes… all over your face… ???  Do men really believe that to be a turn on?  I guess, some woman at some point may have told him that she liked it, and now he thinks every woman likes it, and may have decided to introduce himself that way… I don’t know…  🙂

Oh, you guessed it…  No second date for Mr. Nice Guy…  I guess, he’ll have to visit the  ‘Statue of Liberty’  again…  🙂

I still know why I’m not dating…  🙂

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When Passion Takes Over …..

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I don’t know about you…  but to me, passion is the essence of life.  If you don’t have passion for life, for the people around you, and for what you do, what is there really to live for?  It would be a boring life indeed!  As for myself, the following has become my guiding light

Life Is Too Short–So Kiss Slowly,
Laugh Insanely, Love Truly,
And Live With Passion

But what do you do when that very same passion takes over from time to time, and be truthful now, we’ve all had these moments  (some more than others   🙂  ), when we did or said something which we regretted instantly, the very moment we opened our mouths, or sent a letter.  Unfortunately, once it’s said, written, done, it can’t be reversed.  And then the passion that is usually an asset in your life, all of a sudden becomes a big negative, and you probably wish, at least for that moment, to be just a little more dispassionate…   :-).

Well, I’m a firm believer in the notion that things usually turn out the way they are supposed to.  We may not realize it at the time when something happens, why it happened, but as the saying goes…  ‘Everything happens for a reason.’

You may have been in a situation where you lost your job, and at the time, that was very difficult to deal with, and may have caused you hardship for awhile, but a lot of times, a new, better job or a career change for the better, may be just around the corner.  The same is true for so many other instances.

Then again, if it involves other people, and you’ve done or said something hurtful in the heat of passion, trying to sabotage a wonderful friendship or special love, and then you don’t have any way to take it back, it pretty much depends on the other person and the relationship the two of you have.  Here also, if it’s supposed to be, it will be.  And if not, it was never meant to be to begin with, and it was good that it happened, sparing you future headaches and heartaches.

If you found that special person who cares about you, gives you goose bumps, makes your heart beat faster, and makes you laugh, don’t let pride get in the way, no matter what happened!  Don’t let anything, be it a misunderstanding, argument, or anything else, become too important, believing you can’t get over it. Yes, you can…  If you really care about that person, it’s always worth it…

Because you may end up asking yourself for the rest of your life  ‘What if… he/she was the one?’  Believe me, you will…

Here’s another little saying

NEVER  give  up
On  someone  you  can’t
Go  a  day  without
Thinking  about

Just some food for thought…  Life is too short…     🙂

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Food For Thought For Bigots, Racists & Homophobes …

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Some time ago, I had a very interesting conversation with a lady in her sixties.  I barely knew her, and this conversation took place over coffee after I had given her a massage.  Somebody was so kind to have given her a gift certificate, and she laughed when I called her a  ‘massage virgin,’  as this was her first massage.  She seemed to enjoy it very much and invited me to a cup of coffee which I accepted.  We had a very nice conversation up to the point when she started to rave about then President Bush.  Now, I’m always careful with clients, not to get into deep subjects involving politics or religion, because they often don’t end well   :-).

Anyway, I did end up asking her why she was a Republican as they don’t do anything for people like her, judging from her modest home.  Her answer, I have to admit, took me a little by surprise, and left me speechless for a few seconds  ‘Well, I can’t vote for the Democrats, they are the party of the Blacks…’

I want to leave alone for a moment whether that’s factually even correct, but I did understand what she wanted to imply, and it ended my coffee break very quickly.  In this part of the country, you run into open and hidden racism quite frequently, so statements like these are not at all uncommon.  And the truth is, if somebody is prejudiced, it often shows in more ways than one, involving race, sexuality, nationality, gender, etc.  Some people never seem to find a way to get past their narrow-mindedness, whether caused by lack of education, ignorance, being brought up in an environment breeding these unfortunate character features, or a combination of all the above.

I always believe  the best way to deal with people like that is for them being in a situation where they have to confront these prejudices, like the daughter bringing home a black boyfriend; the son telling his horrified and homophobic parents that he is gay; people who don’t like foreigners, all of a sudden getting neighbors from Mexico…you get the picture… Then their inner demons have to be confronted:  Do I abandon my daughter because of her black boyfriend, and what if she gets pregnant…will I not love my grandchild because he is mixed?  Will I disown my son because he’s gay; will I not speak to my new neighbors, just because they are from another country?  Just some food for thought…

Well, to make a long story short… I hadn’t seen this lady for quite some time, when I just recently received a phone call from her out of the blue.  She wanted me to work on her back because she was in pain.  So I went over to her house and gave her a massage.  While I was putting my stuff together, I noticed pictures of a baby all over her place…a mixed baby…couldn’t have been more than a few months old.  As I didn’t remember seeing them the last time I was there, I asked her about the baby  ‘Oh, that’s my grandson Michael, my little darling…’  and then she went on for minutes telling me everything about him, and how wonderful the father was, and showed me a picture of him, a very nice looking black man, and went on and on… I was listening to her with a smile on my face… It’s nice to be witness sometimes to people changing their tune when being confronted with reality… and I was very happy for her.

Now I wonder whether she voted for the Democrats in the last election….    :-).

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How To Shower Like A Woman ….. Or A Man ….. :-)

HOW  TO  SHOWER  LIKE  A  WOMAN:

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*Take off clothing and place in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
*Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.  If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.  Look at your womanly physique in the mirror, make mental note to do more sit-ups.
*Get in the shower.  Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.  Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage.
*Shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
*Wash your hair again to make sure it’s clean.
*Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner.
*Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
*Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
*Rinse conditioner off hair.
*Shave armpits and legs.
*Turn off shower.
*Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
*Spray mold spots with Tilex.
*Get out of shower.
*Dry with towel the size of a small country.  Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
*Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
*If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

HOW  TO  SHOWER  LIKE  A  MAN:

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*Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
*Walk naked to the bathroom.  If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her while making the woo-woo sound.
*Look at your manly physique in the mirror.  Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
*Get in the shower.
*Wash your face.
*Wash your armpits.
*Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse the snot off.
*Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
*Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
*Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
*Wash your hair.  Make a shampoo Mohawk.
*Pee.
*Rinse off and get out of shower.
*Partially dry off.
*Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
*Admire wiener size in mirror again.
*Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
*Return to bedroom with towel around waist.  If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
*Throw wet towel on her pillow.

….. TIME  TO  TAKE  A  SHOWER …..   🙂

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Motivation — Not Just A Ten-Letter-Word

‘People often say that motivation doesn’t last.  Well, neither does bathing.  That’s why we recommend it daily.’ — Zig Ziglar   🙂

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Chinese symbol for motivation

HOW  TO  GET ….. AND  THEN  STAY  MOTIVATED

Thinking about starting a new project, endeavor, job, business, exercise program?  No matter what it is, applying the following simple suggestions will help you with keeping motivated on the way…..

1.  Keep a positive attitude and surround yourself with positive and motivated people ….. You can’t choose or control your circumstances sometimes, but you can choose your attitude towards them.  When obstacles arise, use them as stepping stones to move forward, rather than setbacks.

2.  Treat your mind like a parachute ….. It works best open.  Broaden your horizon and keep learning new things.  It will give you confidence when starting a new project.  Once you started a new project, track your progress.  Not only will it stimulate and motivate you when you see how far you’ve come, but it will also help you with making adjustments when you see what works and what doesn’t work.

3.  Help others ….. One of the best motivators is to help other people get motivated.  Seeing others do well will in turn motivate you to do the same.

4.  Just do it!!! ….. Once you get started and you see the progress you are making, and the success you are achieving, you just want to continue on your path.  So, if you ask me, out of the four suggestions, this is the most important one.

JUST  DO  IT !!!

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Just Walk Away …..

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I want to use the much publicized altercation between Chris Brown and Rihanna as a reference to make a larger point.

Abuse, be it physical, mental or sexual, can happen with both, the female or male being the abuser.  The most likely scenario when it comes to physical abuse, is with the male being the abuser.  Unfortunately, abusive situations between teenage boyfriends and girlfriends are all too common, and if no intervention takes place, often continue into adulthood.  As abusive relationships are often complicated, the remedies on how to deal with them are not.

JUST  WALK  AWAY …..

If you are being abused by your partner, just walk away…literally…  End the relationship immediately!  Once the other person has crossed that line and has put his hands on you, it’s pretty much a preview of things to come.  It usually gets worse if you stay in the relationship and will cause you many heartaches, headaches and physical pain.  Sometimes it may even end in death…  You deserve better!  And no, he doesn’t love you, if he hurts you.  Love doesn’t hurt…  Abuse is a form of control, not love!  So, get out!!  But prepare yourself for that event, especially if it’s a very violent situation, as statistics have shown that the most dangerous time is at the time of separation.

If you have violent tendencies and either have abused your partner or are afraid that you may,

JUST  WALK  AWAY …..

Whenever you find yourself in a situation/fight/argument with your partner and feel an urge of putting your hands on her, just walk away…get out of the house, take a walk, calm down, stay somewhere else overnight if you need to, and don’t go back until your anger is gone and you have calmed down.  As a man, you may not like the idea of seeking counseling, but there are effective ways to deal with anger management, so that might be something to consider, before literally hurting somebody.  And no, she didn’t make you do it, because she did this, or said that…..  There is  NO  excuse for putting your hands on her, rather than just airing things out in a normal conversation/argument.  If you and your partner fight often and can’t come to terms with each other, maybe that’s a sign that you really shouldn’t be together…Just a thought…

But  NOTHING, absolutely  NOTHING  ever excuses violence …..

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