Posts Tagged Dating

Crossroads

The journey through life is made up of many different roads. Sometimes we come upon a smooth road which leads us straight to the desired destination with little or no effort at all. More often, it will be a rocky, crooked road with corners, detours, and steep uphill climbs.

And now and then we get to a crossroads, the most confusing of them all.

Most likely, we stop and look at the options, not knowing what to do. Will this road lead me to the happiness I have been longing for? What if it turns out to be the wrong decision? Only hindsight will tell. But, one thing is certain: In order to find out, you have to take the risk, and choose one path. Otherwise you will never know.

The worst outcome of all is to not make a decision, but to just stay there confused…and then thinking for the rest of your life about a risk you didn’t take.

There are no guarantees in life. There are only choices you make…  🙂


Andy Vogt is the author of
the sultry and humorous
novel ‘Secrets of a Massage
Therapist’. Visit Andy at
www.andyvogtbooks.com 
to read an excerpt.

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A Weird And Wet Date :-)

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My friend M. called last night.  Like me, she belongs to the ever growing club of women who are just slightly over 29…  :-), single and happy.  Unlike me, who has given up on dating altogether, until that special person comes around the corner (and I know it when I see him…  🙂  ), she’s still trying… and sharing her weird dating experiences with me…

For the second time now, she fell into the trap of a well meaning friend telling her, “I know this really nice guy, he would be perfect for you.  You ought to go out on a date… ”  After her last experience with that particular  ‘really nice guy,’  she told me, it would definitely be quite some time until she listened to any friends again. Well, here we are, just a few weeks later…

Mr. Nice Guy turned out to be a bit of a crazy…  In their very first phone conversation, he joked with her,  “The last time I was in a woman, was two years ago, when visiting the  ‘Statue of Liberty,’ “… haha…  Okay, I have a good sense of humor, and if you know somebody a little better, and are convinced that the person would think that to be funny as well, okay…  But in the first few minutes of a phone conversation with a woman you have never even met?…  Not particularly appropriate…  🙂

When she told me about it, I felt her hesitating already, even going on the date. And as a friend, I just told her to be careful and to watch out for any more red flags.  So, I guess, curiosity got the best of her, and she went on the date, which ended up ordering in Thai food while sipping on a glass of wine in his condo.  It didn’t take but a few minutes, she may have still been enjoying the spicy food, when Mr. Statue of Liberty decided to spice things up himself, and basically threw himself at her, trying to kiss her.  That attempt ended up licking her entire face, ears and neck.  I could hear in her voice that she didn’t particularly care for all that wet attention…  :-).  Naturally, I asked her, if she had told him, that she had already taken a shower that day, so no need for him to lick her clean…  🙂

Anyway, after another few minutes of him telling her that he thought they’d be married within a year, she decided, it was time to leave… and you guessed it… take a shower…  🙂

Now my question is…  I can see that licking can be a very erotic part of making love, something I certainly enjoy… :-), but on the first date… after a few minutes… all over your face… ???  Do men really believe that to be a turn on?  I guess, some woman at some point may have told him that she liked it, and now he thinks every woman likes it, and may have decided to introduce himself that way… I don’t know…  🙂

Oh, you guessed it…  No second date for Mr. Nice Guy…  I guess, he’ll have to visit the  ‘Statue of Liberty’  again…  🙂

I still know why I’m not dating…  🙂

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Man With A Mission :-)

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So I went out with my friend M. for a couple, make that three drinks…, last night, trying to solve the world’s problems again in about two hours…  🙂

As I don’t date (by choice  🙂  ), I live vicariously through her dating experiences…and sometimes, that’s just not a pretty picture.  Thinking about it, that’s probably one of the reasons I leave the soap opera of dating to others…  Well, we’ve had the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly when it comes to the men she’s been out with.  But I don’t think I laughed as hard before as I did last night, when she shared her latest dating experience with me.  K., also known as  ‘Man with a mission’  🙂 asked her out to dinner, and, according to her, it was very nice, wonderful conversation, chemistry, quite the gentleman.  So she happily agreed to a second date …

Well, that one went even better.  They went to one of the local wineries for a wine tasting and had a very enjoyable evening.  For the third date he wanted to come to her house (for the first time) to pick her up and as she felt quite comfortable with K., she agreed.  Right at eight, the doorbell rang and she opened the door to let him in.  But I don’t think she will forget the picture she was staring at for quite some time… There he was, smiling  at her with his pillow under his arm!  Now mind you, up to this point they had barely kissed, definitely no sex involved… How does it go?  A picture speaks a thousand words… Well, this picture certainly spoke volumes, and he didn’t have to say anything…

Now, there’s something to be said to bring your own pillow if the one at your lover’s house hurts your neck, but I’d say, you should at least wait until after you had sex and slept on that pillow a few times  :-).  She thought the same…  and I’m here to report… you guessed it… no fourth date.  She thought if he would do something weird like that, there’s a good chance that other things would follow…

I know why I’m not dating…  🙂

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Single And Happy … By Choice … :-)

‘I love being married.  It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.’ — Rita Rudner  🙂

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Recently, while having a little time during a bad ice storm, I was browsing through some blogs and got inspired to write this by one lady’s musings about her dating experiences which, according to her, often ended after the first date, and she was wondering why the guys ended up asking for a second date, without ever intending to even call her back.

Now, there can be many reasons for that.  The most likely to me would be that he just wasn’t that much into her, and didn’t have the heart to let her know face to face, but rather decided to leave her hanging for a few days or maybe even weeks while she was waiting for any little sign from him.  And then, only after agonizing back and forth about why he hadn’t called her back, finally realizing that it would be best to move on if she didn’t want to end up an old spinster desperately waiting for that one phone call  :-).

Now, a lot of women like myself, who are just slightly over 29  :-), and have seen the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, when it comes to men, have arrived at a point in our lives where we are very comfortable in our own skin.  We are single and happy ….. and not dating ….. by choice.  Just don’t want to go through the soap opera of dating somebody we know darn well right from the beginning is not going to lead anywhere …..

And so we decided to leave the trials and tribulations of a first, possible second, or even third date to others, and are perfectly happy with that decision.  Been there, done that, didn’t like it, won’t do it again.  We know exactly what we want out of life and, after often neglecting to do so in our younger years, and then paying a hefty price for it, we decided to start paying attention to a man’s actions to see whether they show the love and respect we deserve, and sometimes, that’s just not a pretty picture …..

Don’t get me wrong, we love men, absolutely ….. but we also respect and love ourselves.  So, until that special person comes around the corner,  we just opt out of dating altogether and are perfectly happy with it.  Now, when that person shows up, it’s a different story ….. and we’ll know exactly when we see him …..  :-).

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Meet A Woman My Age

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STOP!!!  Before you glance over thinking this is just another feminist rant.  It’s not, I promise!  Are you ready for this?

WE LOVE MEN !

We really do!  However, after a long journey involving many detours, U-turns, heading in the wrong direction, stuck in traffic, being involved in minor fender benders and crashes with total loss and some bruises, taking the wrong exit now and then, and not paying attention to big flashing danger signs, we have finally arrived at our final destination:

LOVING OURSELVES ENOUGH TO KNOW WHAT WE WANT OUT OF LIFE !

We are 35, 45, 55, 65 …..  We are single, married, divorced, in or out of a relationship.  We are fit and healthy, sexy and happy, independent and confident, passionate lovers and wonderful partners, looking and feeling great …..

NOT FOR OTHERS, BUT FOR OURSELVES !

You won’t hear us asking the question that was oh, so important in our earlier years  “Does this make me look fat?”  Instead, we embrace and accentuate our natural beauty.  You won’t find us sitting next to the phone for days waiting for any little sign, like a phone call, that you’re the least bit interested in us.  We may actually pick up the phone ourselves after a long enough waiting period to call you, or wait to return your call, just to drive YOU a little crazy for a change, and only if it’s worth it.  Otherwise:  NEXT!!!  And what about the question dreaded by so many men around the world  “Do you love me?”  You may never hear us asking you that question, or at least not as often as we did in our earlier years.  We may actually pay attention to your actions to see whether they show the love and respect we deserve because we’re just not willing to settle for less anymore.  Been there, done that, didn’t like it.  And don’t be surprised to find out that ‘Making Love’ is okay sometimes, but other times we may just want to have ‘Wild Sex.’

Bottom line:  We know what we want, are passionate about life and it shows !

WE LOVE MEN ….. AND OURSELVES !

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PHENOMENAL  WOMAN     by Dr. Maya Angelou

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Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size.
But when I start to tell them,
They think I’m telling lies.
I say,
It’s in the reach of my arms,
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal Woman,
That’s me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It’s the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally,
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can’t touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can’t see.
I say,
It’s in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Now you understand
Just why my head’s not bowed.
I don’t shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It’s in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
The palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
‘Cause I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

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So, What’s The Matter With The Guys On Match.com?

  

Well, I had a very interesting conversation with my friend P., a fellow massage therapist the other day, and she told me about her first adventure with ‘Match.com.’  While listening to her, I thought I had heard her story before (seems like many times before).  I remember how P. was agonizing for quite some time whether she should even get involved in the dating scene again.  Since her husband passed away several years ago, she really hadn’t been seeing anybody, and she had a healthy distrust of dating sites in general.

But I guess curiosity got the best of her and she put her profile online and, pretty soon, she met this guy and had nice email contact with him over several weeks, and they decided to meet when he was coming to town about two weeks ago.  Besides the obligatory discrepancies between photo and reality   :-), the nice email conversation turned into a somewhat awkward real life conversation pretty soon.  P. told me ‘He kept on asking me whether I had a secret I wanted to tell him.  And to tell you the truth, I didn’t know what to make of it because he kept repeating it from time to time.’  ‘Well, I guess he wasn’t satisfied with your answer,’ I responded, instantly thinking of course, that he was waiting for an answer reflecting the implied sexual reference in his question.  But my friend P., God love her, didn’t even think about such a thing.

Well, after not getting anywhere with his questioning, he decided to fall to sleep on the couch in his hotel room while she was sitting right there next to him.  ‘Well, that might have been a sign for you, that he had resigned himself to the fact that this was no ‘easy-sex-date,’ and decided to catch up on his sleep,’ I said to her.   🙂

So, when he finally woke up, she decided to call it a night and they agreed to meet for breakfast the next morning.  And with a little kiss on the cheek, she was on her way back home.  Next morning, right at nine, her phone rang and Mr. Unhappy said ‘Well, I guess we both realize that there wasn’t much of a connection and I had planned to at least get some action coming down here.  But it was pretty clear from the beginning that that wasn’t going to happen, so I’m actually already on the road back home.  Take care!’  And with that he hung up and left my friend completely speechless.

Here’s a suggestion:  If you’re on Match.com (or any other dating site) and all you’re looking for is easy sex, why not put it right in your profile ‘Male, 40, just looking for sex.  Only willing females please respond.’  That will take care of the disappointment (on both sides) and circumvent the unconscionable idea of dating when meeting on a dating site.   🙂

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Meet Mr. T. (The Tongue)

Another day, another bad dating story.  I had lunch with my friend M. the other day and she told me about her date with Mr. T. (The Tongue).  M. is an attractive lady in her forties who after two failed marriages had put dating on hold for a bit (to be exact, for sixteen years  🙂 ).  Not that she had sworn off men altogether but, shall we say, she had become a bit careful in her selection.  One of the cases of “been there, done that, didn’t like it.”

So, one day one of her friends told her that she found the “perfect” date for her, somebody who was working with her husband, single and really nice.  You probably already have a feeling of this not ending well.  Well, that’s putting it mildly.  Here she got ready for her first date after sixteen years and Mr. T. picked her up at her house (he insisted on that) without having a clue where to go or what to do.  They finally settled on a little sports bar where a painful conversation took place with him seeming to question everything about her, like her job (cosmetologist) with “Why would somebody get facials?” to her appearance “Why would you wear heels?”  Finally, after patiently making it through the conversation and my friend at that point probably ready to strangle her other “He’s really nice” friend, Mr. T. took her home and insisted on coming in with her.

Of course, that would have been a good moment to come up with something like “My elderly mother lives with me and she’s already sleeping, that’s why you can’t come in.”   But I guess, she was so overwhelmed that she couldn’t think straight and she ended up letting him in.  Big mistake!  While fixing a couple of drinks, Mr. T. looked disgusted at her cats and asked her “Why do you have cats?” (Tip:  If you like the woman and would like to see her again, don’t criticize the pets  🙂 ).  Anyway, at that point my friend about had it with Mr. T.  He had criticized everything about her.  But she didn’t want to be impolite, so she sat down next to him on the couch, sipping her drink, when he all of a sudden made a move towards her and kissed her.  She might have expected a little kiss, but boy, was she in for a surprise.  Mr. T. (The Tongue) pushed his tongue so far into her mouth, almost down her throat repeatedly that the next day when she told me about it, her mouth was still sore.  Of course, I pointed out that she was lucky that that was the only thing he pushed into her mouth, otherwise she might have had some major bruises  :-).  Well, to make a long story short, you guessed it, there was no second date for Mr. T.

I think she filed this one under “Dates from Hell.”  It may not be another sixteen years, but I have a feeling that it may be a little while before she listens to another friend telling her “He’s really nice, you ought to go out on a date.”   🙂

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